The last time I wrote here, I had just come back from a sojourn in Egypt, things seemed to be falling into line in my life, all that hunky-dory stuff. I should have known that the universe doesn’t let that happen to me for long, because within a couple months, I lost my job, Richard had a serious mental health episode that required me to drop most things other than caring for him and the house, and things kind of fell apart.
I feel like a lot of folks really curate their online selves to show only the best, most positive parts of their lives, and to discourage readers and followers from peering too closely into some of the darker bits of our lives. Photos get posted from apple-picking afternoons, without mention of the hour-long argument that occurred on the way there. I get it – we all want to look good in the public eye, especially when it can effect our livelihood. But, I’ve always been a combination of compulsively honest and an oversharer, so that’s not the way I do things.
At the end of June, my job informed me that my contract with the state wasn’t being renewed, thus ending my employment at the end of that month. It’s unfortunate, because the work I was hired to do wasn’t finished, but some pretty massive changes in administration had occurred and there was basically no one left to manage me or the work I’d been hired for. So, that was that. I wish I’d been able to finish what I started there, and had another year of financial stability, but at least it gave me two years of solid experience in an office environment, something my resume was lacking previously. I knew I was going to leave after a maximum of an additional year anyway, so it wasn’t a job I intended to keep for a long time, but the decision was still frustrating.
July was largely spent adjusting to my new reality, catching up on some much-needed housework, and attempting to apply for unemployment – that is not an easy process, let me tell you. August was spent traveling, with a trip to Cleveland for NOTOCON – the OTO’s national biannual convention – at the beginning of the month. The trip was a quick one, and unfortunately ended on a very sour note, but it gave me a bit better of a perspective on what the OTO is like at the national level. Some of my discoveries were positive, others negative, but mostly they just confirmed hunches I had already had. That said, it was a fun time, and I unexpectedly ended up as a presenter, which was a very pleasant surprise. Plus I got to dress up and hang out with other cool people, which I always enjoy. I also came up with a framework for a presentation that I’ll use the next time the event rolls around.
August also brought a trip to Florida. Richard and I had been together for a little over 1.5 years at that point, and I had yet to meet his family, which was something I wanted to remedy. Richard comes from a profoundly different background from me (I’m an only child, raised by artists, he was the oldest of 9, raised by Mormons) and I wanted a better grasp on how his family influenced who he became as a person, and I hadn’t been to Florida since I was a kid, so it seemed like a good opportunity. We stuck to Central Florida – Daytona, Orlando, Tampa – because that’s where he was from, and thanks to some free/discounted theme park passes, we were able to do both Disney and Universal Studios during the trip. The heat got to me quite a bit, but at least I was able to spend a lot of time on various beaches, which is one of my favorite things in the world.
Unfortunately, the day after we arrived home from Florida, Richard got some upsetting news from the various higher-ups in the OTO – effective immediately, he would no longer be able to be a priestess within his lodge, a role he had held for the previous two years. A new rule change tied a person’s “primary gender expression” to their role within the lodge, a change that effected a large number of non-binary members within the order, including Richard. This news, along with the stress of family visits, the news we received at NOTOCON, and general life stress, resulted in a bit of a breakdown. Richard is bipolar, a fact he doesn’t attempt to hide, but it’s mostly quiescent the vast majority of the time. But this time around, all the stressors piled on top of one another resulted in the upward spiral of a manic episode.
Richard’s manic episode lasted almost 2 months, and being his caretaker and general tether to reality during that time was extremely taxing. So much so that during the worst week, I actually sent him out to stay with a friend who lives on a farm in the countryside for a week, because as much as I love him, I couldn’t deal with him anymore, and I felt that the solitude would be a positive thing (it was, though temporary). He finally got in to see a doctor and get his medications changed around, but it feels a bit like I lost two months to the situation, which is frustrating. Unavoidable and understandable, but still frustrating.
Almost immediately after his manic episode wound down, my parents came to visit for a week to do some much needed house repairs. As is often the case when they visit, it was a “working” vacation, and though I feel a bit guilty about how much time they spent helping me on the house, they enjoy it and it was extremely helpful. We put up crown molding in the kitchen, ran a new outlet in the living room, put in a new ceiling light, installed a sump pump, and a million other little minor things that make a big difference in quality of life. I wish I were able to see them more, especially as they’ve gotten older, but that’s difficult when you’re on different sides of the country.
And that, if you’ve made it this far, brings me roughly up to date. I’ll likely write a bit more in depth about some of the things I touched on in here, but for now, that’s a good primer.
And I’ll get back to my Egypt posts. Promise.